We have all had times when we experience the “mean reds”.  In Truman Capote’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Holly Golighty describes the “mean reds”to her love interest, Paul Varjak:

Holly Golightly:  Your know those days when you get the mean reds?

Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?

Holly Golightly: No.  The blues are because you are getting fat and maybe it’s been raining too long, you’re just sad, that’s all. The mean reds are horrible.  Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of.  Do you ever get that feeling?

Paul Varjak: Sure.

Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and to to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away.

When we have the “mean reds”, we are not quite depressed, not the “blues”, but we seem to be unable to switch that red light feeling of being at stop to the full motivated energy of the green light. We feel low, listless and struggle to find the momentum to move forward.

Sometimes the “mean reds” are an aspect of the seasons of our life and work; the ebb and flow of the creative process. We may have been in an active, productive phase, and are now entering a time where our minds need to rest, to simmer, to re-charge.

Sometimes our experience of “stuckness” is a disconnection with what is most meaningful and important to us: we feel purposeless or unfocused.  

Here are some tips – for body, mind, feeling and spirit that may help you shake the “mean reds” and get going again.

1. Move: not necessarily out of town, but in your body.  The “mean reds” are often as much about inertia than anything else.  

Take a walk, go for a swim, a run, a bike ride.  Put on your favorite music and dance.

Movement can be an extraordinary energy activator.

2. Connect: plug in to something that will “move” you; something that can activate your sense of joy, wonder, humor, or even sadness.

Connecting with the feelings of life, by reading, viewing art, seeing a film or theatrical performance, listening to music – can shake us out of our emotional inertia.

3. Understand: the “mean reds” happen.  They are part of the ebb and flow of our life and are often a condition between those times of completion and new breakthroughs.

The sense of being at stop, often accompanies transition. Change often brings a phase of murky, foggy uncertainty – it may not be fun, but it is temporary.

Naming and mapping the experience and knowing it is “normal” can make it all much more bearable. An uneasy place in the journey, when we can remember that this too, shall pass.

Posted by: Susan Jewkes Allen, MSW, GCDF

San Francisco Bay Area Career Counselor, Career Coach at Life + Work

Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.

– Harvey Mackay

Time Management and the Myers Briggs

Each of us has our own way of thinking about, relating to, and using time. It is as if we each live in our own particular time zone, with a consciousness of time that is colored by our individual personality preferences and motivations.

The MBTI (Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator) is one system of understanding our personality that can give us a heightened understanding of how and why we relate to time the way we do.

The MBTI measures our personality based on four sets of paired opposites which describe how we meet and function in the world. Each of us, in our day-to-day life, innately favors one preference, in each of the four sets, over the other.

(E) Extraversion and (I) Introversion – Describe how we get energized.

(S) Sensing and (iN) Intuiting – Describe how we take in information and the types of information we most trust.

(T) Thinking and (F) Feeling – Describe how we make decisions and communicate – from our head or from our heart.

(J) Judging and (P) Perceiving – Describe how we relate to time, planning, and how we prefer to organize our life/work.

Although each of these scales and their interactions influence our personal time zones, the (J) and the (P) preference can strongly impact how we perceive and manage time.

If you want to better identify your Myers Briggs preferences – here are some of the types of reports you can receive after taking the MBTI with a credentialed professional, qualified to offer these assessments:

Sample MBTI Career Report

Step II MBTI Interpretive Report Sample

Sample MBTI report

The (J) Judging and (P) Perceiving functions look at the way we prefer to organize our life in relationship to time:

People with a “J” preference are naturally “wired” to live a planned, organized life – and see time as fixed, so they “work now, play later.”

People with “P” preference are more naturally “wired” with a more flexible, spontaneous approach to life – they see time as more elastic and they “play now, work later.”

Neither preference is any better nor worse than the other.

Each type has its own assets and liabilities with slightly more people in the population with a natural preference for Judging, the (J) function.

Each of us will likely find that we possess aspects of both preference opposites, however we all have a preferred side, where we function with the most ease and the least amount of stress.

Below are some descriptions to help you determine which preference describes you best, and tips for working from the strength of your natural preference, developing flexibility in accessing the opposite preference to find more personal balance, effectiveness and working more effectively as you negotiate time zones within yourself and along with others.

Time Management & your Myers Briggs preferences:

Do you prefer a lifestyle that is planned and structured or one that flexible and open to possibilities?

Consider the description sets for the (J) and (P) preferences, below, and see which set describes you the best:

(J) Judging

• Feel less stress after most decisions are made and finalized
• See time as fixed and inflexible: work now, play later
• Being punctual, on-time, is a priority
• Task oriented
• Linear in approach – prefer to complete one task/project, before beginning another
• Feel uneasy without schedules, time frames, plans
• Prefer to work with clearly identified goals
• Enjoy finishing projects even more than starting them
• Find clutter and disorganization gets in the way of concentration and productivity
• Where paper is concerned, tend to be “filers” vs “pilers”

People with the J require plans, order, structure in their life. It can be stressful for “J‘s” to have to adapt quickly to sudden changes in plans or decisions.

The J‘s preference for decision making can limit them in closing off other options pre-maturely, and can inhibit their capacity to adapt and be spontaneous.

(P) Perceiving

• Feel less stress when options are open
• See time as flexible/elastic: play now, work later
• Go with the “flow”
• Highly process vs task oriented
• Prefer to start projects and will often have many “going” at the same time
• Often multi-task
• Feel comfortable with less structure and a high degree of flexibility
• Often will wait until deadlines approach to finish a project – work to the edge of time
• Postpone making some decisions in order to explore options
• Where paper is concerned: are “pilers” vs “filers”

People with a P preference like to seek and collect information and options before making a decision. Making a “final” decision, that appears to close off options, can be stressful for P’s.

The “P’s” preference for keeping options open, can result in their missing opportunities altogether as a result of not finalizing and acting on a choice.

When J’s and P’s work on projects together, time management issues can become a source of stress and even conflict.

J‘s will often push for conclusions, decisions and action. Schedules, systems and step-by-step planning with regular deadlines are the preferred approach.

P‘s prefer to jump right in and explore options and possibilities. Detailed plans seem confining and irrelevant in an ever-changing and dynamic world.

Through understanding your preference and approach to time and by appreciating others with the opposite preference, it is possible to benefit from each other’s style.

When negotiating time, J‘s can benefit from the P’s flexibility and capacity to explore options before pushing forward with a plan or decision. P‘s can benefit from the J’s efficiency, organization and follow through.

Whatever your preference, remember that the only thing we can truly manage, is ourself. Enhanced self awareness offers us the information we need to maximize our potential and capacity to grow and be our very best self, in life and work.

• Would you like to take the Myers Briggs Type Indicator assessment – either for the first time or again?

• Have you taken the Myers Briggs at some point in your life – either an online ‘copycat’ version or the ‘official’ original assessment – and still question if your have your ‘best fit’ type?

• Do you know your type and would like to learn more about how to use this information to be more effective in your work and life?

• Do you want to have your results interpreted with someone who has expertise in the Myers Briggs (MBTI) and its applications for self-awareness, personal and professional development, including: relationships, team effectiveness and personal growth?

Susan Jewkes Allen, MSW, GCDF has 30+ years experience interpreting and teaching the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, with individuals and groups.

Contact me for more information about how you can engage in greater self-awareness and effectiveness by identifying and learning about your strengths through the MBTI.

SJAllen@lifepluswork.org

View some samples of the types of reports you can receive when engaged with us in the MBTI coaching process

:

Sample MBTI Career Report

Step II MBTI Interpretive Report Sample

Sample MBTI report

Posted by: Susan Jewkes Allen, MSW, GCDF

San Francisco Bay Area Career Counselor, Career Coach at Life + Work

Click the “Play” Arrow for an audio version of breath counting:

Breath Counting for Mindfulness & Stress Reduction

Our days can be busy, our minds can wander, we may experience stress or we may get lost in aimless thinking. It is easy to find ourselves overwhelmed by the internal chatter of our mind, or from the clatter of external distractions. Breath counting for mindfulness and stress reduction is based on a zen technique that is simple and highly effective in bringing us back to center, helping us to experience some balance and create a sense of inner peace.  

Breath counting can be done anywhere, anytime: in a quiet, meditative space, or on a noisy bus; at a desk or in walking meditation.  

All you need is two to five minutes when you can close your eyes or gently lower your gaze and breathe.

1. Begin by taking a couple of slow, deep breaths.

2. Slowly inhale and on a slow exhale, count “one” to yourself.

3. Inhale again, and next time you exhale, count “two” and continue to inhale and count on the exhale, up to “five“.

4. Continue to breathe, slowly, gently and after a set of 1 through 5, begin a new set, counting “one“ on the next exhalation and so on.

5. You may find your attention may wander.  You may lose count, or count on the inhale or go higher than the number “five“.

If any of this happens, note it, and simply, without self-criticism, begin again at “one“, counting only when you exhale – until you complete 3 cycles.

If you are a beginner – try to practice this technique once a day, beginning a three rounds of the 1..2..3..4..5 count – this should only take two – five minutes.  

As this is a form of Zen meditation practice, it is possible to build on this technique for many more cycles and many more minutes.

Sometimes, we can only “grab” a minute or two, and even one cycle of breath counting:”one“ – “five“, is enough to bring you a sense of focused, centered, calm.

~ Mikhail Baryshnikov

In a busy, competitive world, our attention and energy can easily become focused on addressing the external expectations and demands of our jobs.

And, we may find ourselves so distracted by this outside noise, that we neglect hearing our own voice; establishing our own set of criteria for what we want and need from our career and life.

Taking the time to assess, embrace and articulate our true talents and gifts, as well as our preferred skills and core value sets, can provide the foundation and focus to be the best we can be at work; allowing us to create an advantage – a way to “stand out” in the workplace.

The notion of “brand”, or what I prefer to call “Unique Value Proposition” (UVP), is an important component of career planning that includes:

1) Discovering, identifying and articulating your unique talents, strengths, and preferred skills.

2) Creating a vision statement that will clearly and succinctly describe who you are and what you have to offer.

3) Experiencing success by focusing and honing your unique set of skills, interests, experiences, and strengths; while honoring your values, needs and wants.

I encourage clients to consider creating their unique value proposition from an entrepreneurial perspective:

•  Think of yourself as providing a service and/or product, much as you would if you were a business.
•  Identify how your would describe and market this service/product as well as who would be your ideal recipient/client/customer.

Crafting your Unique Value Proposition requires time to develop and practice. This can be facilitated through a process of guided reflection and self-assessment.

Your Unique Value Proposition can become the essence of your life/work story:

• incorporated in your “pitch” or “elevator speech”;
• developed more fully into the experiences and accomplishments you highlight within your resume;
• provide core themes as you describe yourself in interviews;
• offer an inner compass as you plan and act throughout your life and work.

As we travel along the road of any life-career transition, there are some steps we can take to maximize and ease the way:

1) Seek support and talk it out.

Whether we reach out to family and friends, or seek out a professional counselor, therapist, spiritual advisor or support group, talking with someone who will listen can offer release and insight.

2) Honor Body, Heart, Mind and Spirit.

Career and other life transitions can impact us physically, emotionally mentally and spiritually.

Body:

Make an effort to do something on a regular basis that requires physical activity.

Take a walk during lunch or engage in a regular workout routine, consider a yoga class or ride your bike. Whatever the activity, find a way to get and keep your body moving.

Heart:

Honor whatever feelings may emerge about your transition.

In change, and career transition we may experience a mix of feelings: fear, sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, depression, feeling alone.

All of these are very natural emotions during the process.

Explore and take whatever positive steps you can to release emotions before they immobilize you.

Mind:

Do what you can to keep your mind focused and active.

Engage with your interests: consider picking up a book you have been meaning to read, attend a lecture, take a course, or informally study/practice a topic or skill that brings you enjoyment.

Spirit:

Some people find solace in a spiritual practice.

It may be a formal place and system of religious expression, or a connection to the spiritual self through meditation, journal writing, candlelit baths, walks in nature, painting or caring for pets. Much comfort can be found in connecting with your spirit – remember to take the time to attend to this aspect of your being.

3. Remember to Breathe!

When we are stressed, our muscles tense and our breathing can become shallow. Most of us do not breath deeply enough even when not stressed, so it can enhance our well being for a lifetime by learning and practicing techniques of the breath to help us relax and connect with the fundamentals of being alive.

Search this blog for some of the breathe work techniques that are both simple and effective, including:

https://lifepluswork.com/breath-counting-for-mindfulness-stress-reduction/

Posted by: Susan Jewkes Allen, MSW, GCDF

San Francisco Bay Area Career Counselor, Career Coach at Life + Work

Career planning is a process of discovering who you are and what is most important to you in your life and work.

It is also about understanding the world of work and finding economic opportunities to meet your needs, wants and dreams.

Ultimately, it involves creating a plan and then taking action to succeed in bringing the best of yourself to the work that you do.

Every transition begins with an ending.  We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up the new one – not just outwardly, inwardly.

~ William Bridges